[02:12] <cascadia> I think that r/stopdrinking is one of the best tools on the internet
[02:12] <apestate> it's good group
[02:12] <offtherocks> we got ape. what else do we need?
[02:13] <offtherocks> someone needs to make a "got ape" meme
[02:13] <apestate> even a broken clock is worth two in the bush
[02:13] <offtherocks> a penny saved is a day well spent
[02:13] <offtherocks> i made that second part up.
[02:14] <cascadia> nice
[02:18] <bottomoftheglass> There's no I in those who wait.
[02:18] <apestate> does the pope shit in the woods?
[02:18] <Kruksog> People in glass houses sink ships
[02:18] <bottomoftheglass> Close, but no piece of cake.
[02:18] <apestate> lmao
[02:19] <cascadia> you guys are silly
[02:20] <Kruksog> Im enjoying this
[02:20] <Kruksog> I can't think of more though
[02:20] <cascadia> I used to work with a guy that made up random metaphors
[02:21] <cascadia> he was funny
[02:21] <Kruksog> A penny saved gathers no moss
[02:21] <Kruksog> There
[02:21] <Kruksog> I got another :)
[02:23] <offtherocks> We've gotta save these. These are gold
[02:23] <bottomoftheglass> Don't look a gift horse in the spilt milk
[02:26] <offtherocks> Absence makes the heart speak louder than words.
[02:29] <offtherocks> The grass is always greener than the sword.
[02:30] <offtherocks> You can lead a horse to water, but you can't eat it too.
[02:30] <Kruksog> Oh shit
[02:30] <Kruksog> OTR
[02:30] <offtherocks> well, you could, but you'd have to build a fire first
[02:30] <Kruksog> That was excellent
[02:31] <apestate> hehehe

<cromagmn> seems like this is the disease of "just one more"
<newguy> yeah, I was always like "I'll slow down tomorrow"
<cromagmn> i remember when i entertained the idea of tappering off
<needmorecowbe11> theeeee booze'll run out......tomorrow!
<needmorecowbe11> bet ya rock bottom comes.....tomorrow!

<needmorecowbe11> yeah...always have an out
<needmorecowbe11> ALWAYS
<needmorecowbe11> you feel that bite...you get the fuck out
<frumious> but what if...
<needmorecowbe11> ALWAYS!
<frumious> okay.
<needmorecowbe11> "i think i left my dog on the stove....gotta go"

22:13 GoIrishGo: i initially started using and drinking in order to "drink away" bad feelings...like many people
22:13 GoIrishGo: and it worked for awhile
22:13 offtherocks: i mena, i liked animals before. but this is different. it's a feeling of ... hard to describe. but it makes me feel high on life
22:13 GoIrishGo: and then, as a side effect, i started drinking away my good feelings, too
22:14 GoIrishGo: eventually, i started drinking my way into a lot of bad feelings again
22:14 GoIrishGo: stopping was and is the scariest thing i've ever done, because it stripped me of my emotional defenses and left me with a big shit pile of feelings that i didn't know how to handle
22:15 GoIrishGo: but i've spent a lot of time and effort into working through it -- and for me, the thing that gives me that "high" is all the little things in life that i never experienced or felt before
22:16 GoIrishGo: for instance -- we had the hurricane yesterday, and i went to my f2f. it was smaller, and we were chatting beforehand. one of the guys mentioned about how when we'd get storms like this, he used to make sure he had his alcohol before he had water and food.
22:16 GoIrishGo: 'stocking up' for the weather
22:16 GoIrishGo: i used to do that, too. i hadn't even thought about it that day.
22:17 GoIrishGo: the fact that i didn't think about it pointed out to me that my thinking was changing a little bit. and i was proud of myself, because i've worked hard and struggled to get to where i am now (even though i'm broken and a little messed up sometimes)
22:17 GoIrishGo: drunk me hates myself, and isn't proud of anything he does.
22:17 GoIrishGo: having those positive feelings again is what my "high" is in life. even when i struggle and want to drink, and don't...that's a positive for me because it shows how far i've come.
22:18 GoIrishGo: so...yeah. that's what i do.

<apestate> so I pooped in a bucket today
<apestate> felt great
<apestate> anyway it just goes to show you that you can do what you need to do in life
<apestate> sometimes we have these mental blocks and it's tough to change our behavior <apestate> but now I have 5 or 6 good ways to take a poop, not just 1
<apestate> it gradually gets easier to poop when you don't have a toilet, and once you break the barrier you find that there was nothing to worry about
<apestate> it's amazing how something so simple and so basic to being alive can be nearly impossible
<apestate> I think it's like us and our alcoholism. it's a simple thing... not drinking. we don't know how to do that, though, and it takes a real act of desperation to break the barrier
<apestate> and it's uncomfortable at first but you manage to not drink, and gradually it gets easier and more natural and you can't even imagine drinking again
<apestate> it's like not pooping in a toilet
<apestate> at first you are really desperate to poop in a toilet, there's no other way
<apestate> you hold it in, you start asking people to use their toilet
<apestate> finally you say fuck it and you shit in the woods
<apestate> and at first it was hard. you couldn't relax, so you had a really poopy butt
<apestate> it didn't come out right and it didn't all come out
<apestate> but after a few times you learn to relax and it become natural
<apestate> you might even get good at it.
<apestate> eventually you find yourself in a situation where you don't have the privacy to shit in the open like that, so you find a bucket and put some grass at the bottom
<apestate> now you can shit in a closet or a shed
<needmorecowbe11> TIL how to shit in a bucket
<apestate> you learn, you adapt. eventually you can't even imagine how people need a toilet to survive.

<raevie> alcohol wasnt even my favorite substance, i was just too lazy to find anything better
<raevie> it makes it sound like theres something special about alcohol, when i feel its better defined as a problem in how my brain works
<raevie> give me something pleasurable to consume and i will go overboard and want more and more
* apestate unzips
<raevie> haha
<apestate> NO"
<apestate> !
<apestate> BAD TIMING
<apestate> jeez
<raevie> HAHAHA
<dellsbells> oh dear

[11:44] <apestate> nwp don't worry about it
[11:44] <apestate> it's ok
[11:45] <apestate> I don't keep you around for the engineering advice. just sit there and look pretty, and everything is alright.
[11:45] * nwp sits pretty
[11:45] <apestate> haha
[11:45] <apestate> where did I learn to talk to women
[11:45] <frumious> in the 50s, I guess

<apestate> did I ever tell you guys about the time I played shortstop for Milwaukee
[18:43] <NoMoreBeersPlease> New story to me
[18:43] <apestate> I was a Milwaukee Brewer for 3 years when we went to the series against the Yankees
[18:43] <apestate> I got Mattingly's autograph on my bat
[18:44] <apestate> unfortunately Nolan Ryan was pitcher that day and it was a 3-3 tie in the series
[18:44] <apestate> Brewers were shut out, the Yankees didn't get a run in
[18:44] <apestate> so I'm at bat at the bottom of the 9th inning, right
[18:44] <apestate> score 0-0 and Nolan Ryan is pitching a fit
[18:45] <apestate> he's throwing these crazy sliders you can't physically hit, it's impossible, and he shows no signs of letting up
[18:45] <apestate> so strike one, ball one, strike two, ball two
[18:45] <apestate> ball three
[18:45] <apestate> but I know Nolan is fucking with me
[18:46] <apestate> next shot is a strike but that crazy slider
[18:46] <apestate> I know this before he even throws
[18:46] <apestate> so I come up to the plate now it's bottom of the 9th in the world series, score is 0-0, bases empty
[18:46] <apestate> this game wins the series
[18:46] <apestate> so Nolan Ryan winds up, I wind up
[18:47] <apestate> Nolan Ryan throws the pitch, and I threw the bat
[18:47] <apestate> the bat met the ball halfway to the pitchers mount and goes sailing clear out of the park
[18:47] <apestate> it was the only way to hit that pitch
[18:47] <apestate> and you know what I learned that december afternoon
[18:47] <needmorecowbe11> what's that?
[18:48] <apestate> well I dunno I haven't found a moral to it yet
[18:48] <apestate> good game though

<apestate> what if somebody is lurking ashamed of their drinking problem
<squiddy> it's 3AM
<offtherocks> they wont be ashamed after seeing us say this
<squiddy> shit happens at 3AM
<squiddy> it's 3AM everywhere, shut up
<offtherocks> im more worried about sober people seeing this and thinking they're still drunk

[ NOTE - RocksBot is a Bot ]


[23:24] <squiddy> what evil thing did you do
[23:24] <needmorecowbe11> hehe
[23:24] <needmorecowbe11> you'll find out
[23:24] <needmorecowbe11> it has something to do with a contest
[23:24] <squiddy> fuck I just lost the game
[23:24] <RocksBot> The CONTEST!
[23:24] <squiddy> oh you fucker

[17:11] <sf_derp> who the eff is vankrause?
[17:12] <sf_derp> vankrause, you there?
[17:12] <offtherocks> some guy who's always getting highlighted in the middle of gay orgies, i dunno
[17:12] <Kruksog> I've never seen him speak up
[17:12] <sf_derp> haha
[17:12] <offtherocks> he spoke once.
[17:12] <sf_derp> he idles in my other chan
[17:12] <sf_derp> shitload of chans actually
[17:12] <NowherePlans> The only thing I saw was him talking about gay orgies.
[17:12] * sf_derp swishes to the left and to the right
[17:12] <qw-> what did i come home to
[17:13] <sf_derp> gay orgies and such
[17:13] <sf_derp> typical stuff
[17:13] <qw-> where do i sign up
[17:13] <sf_derp> ask vankrause

[A NOTE: VictoriaElaine_ is Canadian, and to a Canuck syrup=SERIOUS BUSINESS]

<raevie> can i use honey instead of syrup? its basically the same thing, right canadians?
* dellsbells has joined #stopdrinking
* RocksBot welcomes dellsbells to the room.
* RocksBot hugs dellsbells.
<VictoriaElaine_> wtf
<VictoriaElaine_> raevie no
<ambivalent_fanatic_> RAEVIE GET OUT NOW
<raevie> :D
<ambivalent_fanatic_> JUST FUCKING LEAVE
<dellsbells> omg
<dellsbells> what is happening
<raevie> syrup wars

10[01:24] <Kruksog> We got lots of cows
[01:25] <offtherocks> We got lots too. We should have a cow-off
10[01:25] <Kruksog> lol
10[01:25] <Kruksog> COW OFF GO!
10[01:26] <Kruksog> As of Jul 2008 the pop. of people in Montana was 967,440. Cow pop. is 2,418,600, as there are 2.5 times more cows than people.
10[01:26] <Kruksog> 1,279,000 cows in Wisconsin
10[01:26] <Kruksog> OWNED
10[01:27] <Kruksog> MONTANA WINS THE COW OFF
[01:27] <offtherocks> i just found that too. dammit.
10[01:27] <Kruksog> I PWN YOU NUB
10[01:27] <Kruksog> UH
10[01:27] <Kruksog> UH
10[01:27] <Kruksog> UH
10[01:27] <Kruksog> This is Xbox live now
10[01:27] <Kruksog> By the way

[02:06] <offtherocks> So. Dells. Do you want my chicken recipe?
[02:06] <dellsbells> so i saw your meal
[02:07] <offtherocks> No, you can't have the recipe
[02:07] <dellsbells> well considering that i ate sour cream and onion chips for dinner, i cannot rag on you
[02:07] <needmorecowbe11> i had enchilada doritos
[02:07] <needmorecowbe11> but that's because we just finally got power back
[02:07] <dellsbells> howver it seems like you have taken to the minnesota way of using spices
[02:07] <offtherocks> those sound ... wonderful. tell me more.
[02:08] <dellsbells> oh i also had stale wheat thins and water
[02:08] <dellsbells> yum
[02:08] <offtherocks> but dells, you didn't see the final product. it involves rooster sauce
[02:08] <dellsbells> rooster sauce?
[02:08] <offtherocks> .ud rooster sauce
[02:08] <sobrieti> [1/1] "rooster sauce": A viscous whitish secretion of the male reproductive organs, containing spermatozoa and consisting of secretions of the testes, seminal vesicles, prostate, and bulbourethral glands. Also called seminal fluid. "Cock-a-doodle-doo bitch! Here comes the Rooster Sauce!"
[02:08] <offtherocks> that is not what i'm talking about
[02:09] <dellsbells> oh my god
[02:09] <offtherocks> oh god

<apestate> I'll tell you the story about how I was nearly seduced by a goat. It includes drinking so it's relevant.

<apestate> oh yeah? well it's like this for me: I was living entirely in my ego, trying to rely on my intellect for everything.
<apestate> except I couldn't cope, so I drank. I had low self-esteem and anxiety, so I drank. I didn't know how to have fun, so I drank to have fun.
<apestate> now I'm learning to live as a more whole being, because the problems I have aren't spinning out of control because I'm constantly solving them with
apestate> so it's like running a shitty version of windows in virtual machine
<apestate> now I'm running native, though I still have a lot of updates to install.

<VanKrause> im always getting highlighted right in the middle of a gay orgy