[23:56] <~horrorshow> My inward dick is so hard that it's literally stabbing a hole into my internal organs right now
[23:56] <~horrorshow> You're killing me SmashAdams

[00:07] <@invinciblewinter> Sparks: Hear girl's name - prostitute, obviously.
[00:07] <marcbolan> i read her name
[00:07] <marcbolan> at least acknowledge my literacy lol

[01:21] <@invinciblewinter> Two men enter a bar and order the same drink. After being served, one man turns to the other and says, "No soap, radio?"
[01:25] <marcbolan> 2 Penguins are in a shower. One says "pass the soap." The other says "Pass the radio!"
[01:27] <@invinciblewinter> A woman drives over a small child. She explains to the traffic cop, "No soap, radio!"
[01:31] <marcbolan> A Rabbi, a Priest, and a Minister walk into a bar. Then a horse walks in. The bartender says "No soap, radio?"

[00:52] <Matt> I have this weird fetish where I get myself up and start slooooooooowwwllly trying to put as many toothpicks into my urethra as possible. Just to see how many I can do, the number has gone up over the years. I guess I've trained myself to do more and more. You have to be real careful though, take your time. It's like jenga. You can let it hurt or you'll go soft immediately and they'll either break into a million little bits and you'll have a bloody splinter dick or they'll just be stuck in there forever. I got caught once. My mom called me to dinner, and it took me off guard. I got soft, man, real quick. And it was all over, my pants started turning red. I was like oh fuck. She started coming down the hall. I hear her knocking, I try to say something, but I can't. Open the door, get on the floor, everyone walk the dinosaur.

[22:18] <@horrorshowsparks> my head feels like a fish
[22:18] <maggie_> That's probably the most profound thing I've ever heard.