<@joosa> how do you say float in java? just 1.5f?
<@Gliptic> FloatFactoryFactory.getInstance(FloatFactoryFactory.defaultInstanceDescriptionString).getFactory(Locale.getLocale("en-US")).createBuilder().setString("1.5").getResult()

<chanman3> does irc stay open on christmas

Mike3285: wtf is a palindrome
MaroonSand: no its not dude

HughDario: Man, so one of my Jewish friends the other day told me he doesn't believe in the moon landing.
HughDario: So I told him that I don't believe in the Holocaust and he dropped the subject.

<yajmele> Oh my god....I was fooling around with my boyfriend the other night....
<yajmele> Right when I grabbed his cock, we heard the "get item" sound from Legend of Zelda. 
<yajmele> It's apparently his e-mail alert on his phone.
<yajmele> It took us 20 minutes to stop laughing.  The timing on that was impeccable.

<Pongball> Religion is like a penis.
<Pongball> It's fine to have one.
<Pongball> It's fine to be proud of it.
<Pongball> But please don't whip it out in public and start waving it around.
<Pongball> And PLEASE don't try to shove it down children's throats.

<watashi-x> Oh my God! Are you attemping to DoS me?
<Polymer> WTF are you talking about dumb ass
<Polymer> I can't get into your MS-DOS

<TOZTWO> I was kinda shy, and still am, so right after sex, I started getting dressed before she could turn on the lights......
<TOZTWO> Well, she turns the light on, and I have my clothes on already, and she can't find her undies.......
<TOZTWO> But she finds my undies next to the bed.
<TOZTWO> Guess whose undies I'm wearing?

<membranoid> MIGGER: THE MAGIC NIGGER

*** Now talking in #christian
-Word_of_God- Welcome Abstruse to #christian I am a Bible Bot. For more info type: /msg Word_of_God !info
<Abstruse> !kjv numbers 22:21
<Word_of_God>  Numbers 22:21 -- And Balaam rose up in the morning, and saddled his ass, and went with the princes of Moab. -  (KJV)
*** SageRider sets mode: +b *!*@c211-30-208-111.rivrw3.nsw.optusnet.com.au
*** Word_of_God was kicked from #christian by SageRider (Please dont Swear)
<Abstruse> I know I'm never going to be able to come back in this channel again after this, but damn was it worth it to see that...

<Kris> fuck!  someone stole all my beer and drank it and left the empties all over my apartment!
<Kris> either that or I now know why I have a headache and no real memory of anything after 21:00

<[UA]lavalamp> I was playing chutes and ladders with my 4-year-old son...when he won, he jumped up, pointed at me, and shouted "pwned!"

<<p3ps1c4n>> I just killed a bee that was flying around my kitchen.
<<sp0rkk>> omg, dude.. LOL!!
<<sp0rkk>> this one time, i caught a bee and put it in a cup inside the freezer..
<<sp0rkk>> and then i took it back out, and tied a string to it.. 'cause it was frozen so it wouldn't sting me..
<<sp0rkk>> and then it thawed out and came back to life.. so i was like "whee!", walking around..
<<sp0rkk>> and then the fucker started chasing me around, trying to sting me!
<<p3ps1c4n>> Rofl!
<<sp0rkk>> so i smashed it with a frozen block of bacon.
<<p3ps1c4n>> I fear for your cat.
<<sp0rkk>> dude, stfu.

<Narcissus> Dude I had a fucking crazy night last night
<Thomas> yeah?
<Narcissus> So you know how Jason is basically a crazy redneck?
<Narcissus> well we were sitting around drinking when he just pipes up "let's go hunting guys!"
<Narcissus> we're in the middle of the city, right, but we're sort of drunk, so me, Mike and Aaron go for it
<Narcissus> We head out to the park, drinking from the camelback of course, and see these fucking geese; Just hundreds of fucking geese sleeping by the river.
<Narcissus> we're just kind of stumbling around laughing, but Jason takes a fence post, UPROOTS the motherfucker, and just Braveheart charges this field of geese
<Narcissus> the geese start going apeshit as he's swinging like mad, just honking like crazy tearing up the river
<Narcissus> the three of us don't know what to do, but three generations of inbreeding sure as hell did.  The fucker cracks one of the geese over the head, and it's just frozen, sort of stunned
<Narcissus> without a second of hesitation, Jason grabs his dull ass pocket knife and just pounces on the goose, stabbing wildly, and let me tell you.. there's a fuckton of blood in a goose
<Narcissus> this thing is hemorrhaging  blood, completely covering him, but he keeps stabbing it
<Thomas> wtf dude? that's fucking nuts
<Narcissus> just listen, it gets worse
<Narcissus> We are completely dumbfounded, we don't know what the fuck just happened, but we're pretty sure it's extremely illegal
<Narcissus> we decide to wrap up the goose in Aaron's jacket and take it back to the apartments
<Narcissus> so we walk like 3 miles back, and take it to the field by the power station
<Narcissus> Jason's not done though, he takes his dull blade and SKINS THE MOTHERFUCKING GOOSE
<Narcissus> takes out the entrails, the whole nine yards, takes for fucking ever
<Narcissus> at this time Mike is turning pale, he's looking up all  the laws we'd broken, and he kept yelling about some security guard watching us
<Narcissus> I told him to stop being paranoid, but he wouldn't let up
<Narcissus> so he grabs the goose and just fucking chucks it, as hard as he can over towards the freeway
<Narcissus> needless to say we were pissed, but we weren't about to spend all night looking for that shit
<Narcissus> So we snuck home, drunk, hungry and defeated
<Thomas> Now that's a fucking adventure
<Narcissus> yeah, I know, but just imagine this episode of cops:
<Narcissus> four college age guys, drunk, walk out of a darkened field in the middle of a city at 3 A.M. after spending several hours working on something, and one of them is COVERED in blood, holding a dull, bloody knife, claiming to have just hunted, skinned, and then completely thrown away an entire goose
<Narcissus> you can't right better shit than that
<Thomas> I don't think we should ever hang out with Jason ever again
<Narcissus> Agreed

<MindSpark> So the officer stops me and asks for my license and registration
<MindSpark> After handing them to him , he asks who the car belongs to
<MindSpark> I tell him it's my wifes
<MindSpark> He asks if I have an authorization, because you have to have some proof that you're allowed to ride a car that's not yours
<MindSpark> I go "Sir, I ride the OWNER of this car personally with no authorization, do you really expect me to have an authorization to ride her car ?"
<MindSpark> Officer hands me back the papers in silence and salutes me

<mindbomb> anytime anyone refers to themselves as a 'foodie' I want to knock their fucking teeth out
<mindbomb> oh you like to eat food that tastes good? congratufuckinglations
<mindbomb> blog about it

<@whm> "A man was hospitalized with 6 plastic horses up his ass. The  doctors described his condition as stable."

<Pwnz0rz> What do you guys do after sex?
<D3v1lm4n> i like to cuddle with her
<Haxorz> i leave
<Dragneel> i Bury her again

<dipstick> I see uranus
<DoubleDragonIII> they discovered a new planet, its so huge that earth seems as small as a golf ball
<DoubleDragonIII> its called urmom

Stranger: I'm Mary. What's your name?
You: Eric.
Stranger: So, Eric, where are you from?
You: USA, you?
Stranger: China
You: Your name is Mary? That's not a Chinese name.
Stranger: My Chinese name is Xiong Chaofeng.
You: Alright, Mary it is...

<woodenleg> what should i get my gf for her birthday?
<spherXz> your virginity
<woodenleg> lol, something i haven't already given her?
<spherXz> an orgasm
<woodenleg> i'll ask someone else...

<Kattar> jesus christ my dish washer sounds like it's going to explode
<Kattar> I have never heard a dish washer make sounds like this before
<Arkantos> Better take her to a hospital

Yarrow: Ok, this is weird. My sim brought a friend home from work. They turned out to be very compatible, and are now making out...
Prince_Herb: What's weird about that?
Yarrow: They're still wearing their work outfits and are llama mascots for the local sport team.

<+ChubZee> i was watching telly this morning before i went to work
<+ChubZee> and there was a discussion on about a charity that deals with teenage pregnancy
<+ChubZee> which is a huge problem in the uk
<+FCN|M0rlock> i can imagine
<+ChubZee> and they're advocating anal sex as a form of contraception
<+ChubZee> (which i'm all for)
<+ChubZee> and their tag line is "one up the bum and you won't be a mum"
<+ChubZee> i was almost dying laughing

Venificus:  Why is the alphabet in that order? Is it because of that song?